Who says?

Who says its hard to do little things like post a blog entry when there's a new baby arond? Especially when the baby is THIS cute?!?

More posts coming soon, I promise.

Early Morning Daddy Time

As Shiloh and I have been trying to figure out schedule things that work for us and little Ms. Addison, one thing that has worked out really well is that I take Addie downstairs after her "first" morning feeding...usually around 6:00 or 6:30 and we hang out together until about 8:30 or 9:00 so that Shiloh can get a good stretch of sleep before she has to wake up for real.

This is probably the best part of my day, because Addie is usually pretty content to just lay in my arms and sleep. I've realized that I don't know many lullabys, so I just end up making up songs to sing to her and laugh at the silly faces she makes.

I call the following pictures, "Progression of a Nap". Check out the awesome poses. While Addison was still in Shiloh's belly, the doctor told us she was going to be a breakdancer because she was basically "spinning" on her head. I think these pictures confirm that assumption.

A Different World

At the university down the street from our church building, there is a BAR inside the CAMPUS CENTER.

It probably says a lot about me that I am so surprised by this.

I am really wishing I was headed to Abilene today for ACU Homecoming. It is Shiloh's 5th Reunion year, and lots of my friends' 10th Reunion year. And it would be great to show off Addison. Oh well. Maybe next year...and definitely the next year for my 10th Reunion.

2 years ago...1 week ago

About this time two years ago, Shiloh and I went up for a drive through the mountains. Seeing the aspen leaves as they change color from green to bright yellow, red, and orange is one of Shiloh's favorite things to do in the Fall. We found a spot just outside of Estes Park that had a huge cluster of aspens that were just beautiful.

It had only been about a week since Shiloh and I had found out that Shiloh had had a miscarriage. Taking that drive through the mountains and looking at the aspens was a really healing experience for both of us. I like this picture because of all the colors and beauty, but also because it reminds me of that healing that we both felt.

It has been a hard two years for Shiloh and I. A few months after that picture was taken, Shiloh experienced another miscarriage (this time an ectopic pregnancy) and we were again feeling so much pain.

Yesterday, Shiloh and I drove up into the mountains and took this picture.

All I can say is something that I haven't been able to bring myself to say very often these last couple of years..."Isn't God good?!"

Addison is here, home, and happy!

Sorry I haven't posted since the "Addison's on the way" post...she got here, and I've been a little busy since then. Here are some pictures, and in the next day or so, I'll share the lessons that I've already learned after 4 full days of being a professional Daddy.

Only a few minutes old, and I'm already wrapped around her finger

Our happy family

Getting ready to go home

More later...time for a quick nap before the next feeding time!

Addison Hope

We're at the hospital (been here since about midnight...) and Addison is really close to joining us! Shiloh's already got the good medicine, she's already at a 10(!), and so it really shouldn't be long now at all! I'll update again when she's here!

Is this REALLY how it is?

"The time has come for a more theologically rigorous Youth Ministry because pizza parties and Play Station won't change the world."

This was a friend of mine's status on facebook yesterday. It sparked some pretty good discussion (at least on his status comments) about the state of Youth Ministry right now. Several comments had to do with the fact that Youth Ministers WANT to make these changes, but they feel that parents and other church leadership would fight them on those changes because it would "rock the boat too much". Another comment from another friend of mine was pleading the case that we know we need to make those changes...we just don't know how! There are 10 books out there right now telling us that what we're doing as Youth Ministers isn't working, but there's not really a lot about how we can make that switch.

And my question was, "Who is doing Youth Ministry with pizza parties and Play Station?!?" I can't remember the last time I ordered pizza for the Youth Group, and I think we play video games once a year (maybe twice) in the UYG. Now I know that my friend was exaggerating just a bit...I'm sure that no one does Youth Ministry using only pizza & video games. And I'm also sure that there are some Youth Ministers out there that use the "fun" things as the main focus of their ministry. But I honestly do not think that describes the majority of Youth Ministries out there today. We do fun things, we do things that entertain the kids, but those are not the reasons that our kids come to activities. Those are not the things that are driving our ministries. The teens are coming because they want to be challenged, and they've bought in to what the group is doing and the direction the group is headed (and trying to follow God's lead in that direction).

Youth Ministry 3.0 is a book that came out recently that I read at the end of the summer. In it, Marko (President of Youth Specialties) talks about where he thinks Youth Ministry needs to be headed. He talks about needing to challenge teens with God's Word, not just entertain them with "feel good" messages. He talks about really getting to know the teens and the issues they are facing, not just putting a "one-size-fits-all bandaid" on each teen and hoping they don't disrupt the group. He talks about giving the teens some room to do things and follow the call that they are hearing from God in their lives, rather than just doing what's on our Youth Ministry agenda and calendar for the year. And he talks about allowing the teens to ask real questions about what they don't understand, not just telling them to believe what we tell them "because we said so." Of course, there are many other things he mentions, but those seemed to be the ones that really stood out to me.

What really worried me when I read the book, was thinking about the Youth Groups with Youth Ministers who aren't already doing those things. I can absolutely do more of those things in my ministry, but none of those things were a brand new idea to me. And I don't see how they could be brand new ideas to anyone who has been spending time with teenagers for the last few years. Of course these teens need challenges...need relationships with mentors and teachers...need to be encouraged to follow God's call...and they need to be allowed to ask questions. I really think its that last one that scares so many parents and church leaders. And this just might be what they're scared of...what if they ask a question that we don't know the answer to? Or what if they don't take our answer as "the" answer? What if while we're challenging our teens to follow God's call in their lives, they come up with different answers than what we've always been told was "the" answer?

So, fellow Youth Ministers...parents...teens...friends who have nothing to do with Youth Ministry...what are your thoughts?

Get Real & Live It!

Blessed by the UYG

Over the last few days, I've really been reminded of how much I am blessed by the group of teens that I get to work with. We had a "Fun Night" last night where we played volleyball with water balloons. It doesn't matter what this group is doing, they are always having a great time together. During one of the breaks of playing, one of the girls came up and asked me how my week had been. She said that she realized the other day that all the teens try to do a good job of checking in on each other to see how they're doing each time they get together, but that they hardly ever asked me how I was doing. Its nice to be remembered.

Also this week, the teens turned in applications for our Servant Action Leadership Team. This will be the 5th year that we've had this team in place for the Youth Group. The teens that want to apply for this team are wanting to step up as leaders in the Youth Group, and they fill out these applications that have questions about where they see the Youth Group headed, and what they want to learn about leadership, and how they see themselves serving the Youth Group. Thursday I just sat and read these applications feeling so encouraged by what these teens see God doing in their group...by what these teens hear God calling them to do next...and reading their honest words about what they think their short-comings are, and how they hope to let God work in those weaknesses. It has been so great to see what God has done with this group over the past few years. The group of Seniors this year were only 7th graders when I first started working with this group. I am so excited to see what they are going to do this year, their last year in the Youth Group, and where the Youth Group will be this time next year. The only bad thing about these applications and this year's SALT group is that I received 3 or 4 more applications than I think I'll be able to take for the team. That is a good problem to have...but SUCH a hard problem. I'm praying that God will make it clear which of these teens will best serve the UYG by being on SALT this year.

Another thing that has me feeling so blessed by the UYG is the fact that since we announced we were pregnant back in February, the teens have been praying every Sunday and Wednesday (and I'm sure some other times, as well) for Shiloh and Addison. They have been very much a part of our pregnancy, being excited with us, feeling our worries with us, and even now, feeling our impatience and anxiousness for Addison to be with us, with us. When we had our baby shower a few weeks ago, several of the teens (even the guys) made it a point to come to the shower with their moms because they wanted to show Shiloh and I how excited they were. I can't wait for Addison to be here, and to grow up being around some of these teens and having them as examples for what young Christians should strive to be.

Thanks UYG, for the ways that you bless my life and make my job so enjoyable!

Get Real & Live It!

Ever felt like...?

I was talking with a friend the other day, and he asked me, "Have you ever been at the point where you've planned out an activity, promoted it all you can, made sure every detail is in place, everything is ready to go, but it all hinges on whether the people actually show up or not?" I quickly responded, "Yes, I'm a Youth Minister..."

Had our doctor's appointment yesterday, everything seems to be going fine with Addison. Now we just wait on her to decide to make her appearance. I have a "baby pool" posted on my office door where people can mark down their guess as to what day Addison will be born. Several people don't seem swayed by the fact that the doctor says it could be any day, and they're still guessing the due date (Oct. 1st), or even after. One teen guessed Labor Day because he thought that would be ironic. Several guesses have been for Sept. 9th (9-09-09), with even one guess being for 9:09 in the morning. With the exception of those two days, there haven't been any other guesses for next week. I guess we'll see if Addison surprises everyone. I know her mom is hoping for "as soon as possible". The doctor has said that it will be fine for her to come whenever she's ready at this point, so Shiloh's thought is, "Why wait?!" I just keep thinking that she can't come on a Sunday or Wednesday night, or any other time I have a Youth Group thing planned. And of course, I know that is exactly when she'll decide to show up. (And just to calm your concerns, I know that Youth Group stuff will go on just fine without me while I drop everything and welcome my little girl to this world. At least, that's what I'm trying to convince myself of.)

Hope you and your families have a great Labor Day weekend. I'll let you know if we have a special Labor Day of our own.

Get Real & Live It!

Shiloh says...

Shiloh said that my blog looked boring and needed a cool background. So now my blog says "Cutest Blog on the Block" up in the corner. Awesome.

Show Me What I'm Looking For

"Show Me What I'm Looking For" by Carolina Liar
(play the video while you read, or listen to it before you continue reading...)

Over the past few weeks, I've been hearing this song on the radio. After really starting to listen to it, I went and found it on iTunes and bought it and have been listening to it over and over. (I then found out that the day before I bought it, they were giving away free downloads of it...) Last week in our Youth Group class, I played it for the teens and asked them if they could hear any of their friends singing the words of this song.

"I'm wrong...should've done better than this...save me, I'm lost...save me from being confused...I've learned to love abuse...oh Lord, please show me what I'm looking for"

I told the teens that over the past several months, I've been reading several articles and even books that have written about the subject of teens today and what they are really looking for. There have been some really insightful articles, but there is one problem that all of these books and articles have in common...they've all been written by adults. I'm sure all of those adults did some great research and surveys and things like that...but almost every article I read was by an adult trying to "explain" what teens were looking for...rather than just asking teens and giving their answers. So that's what I asked the teens in class to do, was to tell me what it was they, their friends, their generation, were looking for. I got some GREAT answers. Answers that were really insightful, answers that were a little scary, but most of all, answers that were honest.

Right away, the first answer was that this generation was looking for "acceptance". But then Kaylee said that it wasn't just acceptance...but that it was the desire to "be known". And not really in a popularity kind of way...but in a way that they are known by people and known for something. That they would be missed if they weren't there any longer. And then someone else said that their generation would probably define that "being known" idea as being "loved".

Then Justin said that he felt like his generation is pursuing a self-fulfillment of sorts. One that comes only from themself. And that they try to find "that one thing" that will fulfill them. For some teens, that will be school & their grades; others it will be drama or choir; others it will be soccer or another sport; for most of them, it will be a relationship of some kind. And they will pour their whole self into whatever they think that "one thing" is and hope that it fulfills them. That it gives them an identity, security & comfort.

Nathan said that he thinks his generation really wants "independence", but not just the "away from my parents" kind of independence. He said that he sees his friends really just wanting to be off on their own, able to do their own thing, without anyone judging them or telling them what they should or shouldn't be doing. Someone else said, "Yeah, we just want to do whatever makes us happy."

The final answer I got from the teens was that this generation is just looking for answers. They just want to understand why things are the way they are. They're tired of all the arguing from everyone else. They want answers that sound right to them, and they'll take those answers from whomever sounds like they know what they're talking about. That was the scary answer.

Nicole shared that she has several friends that come to her, seeking advice about relationships and other things, and even if those friends don't take her advice, they still come back a week later asking what they should do next. So my question to the class was, as teenage Christians, how can they direct their friends to God, and show them that He is what they are looking for? That He is the one who will give them that fulfillment they are looking for...that He is the one who will give them the real acceptance and love that they so desire...that He is the one with the only true Answers to their questions. And man, are they smart teens! They said that sitting down and having a Bible study with their friends is probably not going to work right away. Instead, it was going to have to be them just living their life as an example to the other teens around them.

To me, this song sounds like a prayer. A prayer that the singer is saying without even knowing that he's praying. I think its a prayer that our teens today are saying, without even knowing who they are praying to. They are searching, they are longing for answers and acceptance and fulfillment, and they know they're looking in the wrong place...but they don't know where else to look. What a challenge to those of us that have found what we were looking for! We must find ways to share God and His love with the people who are readily admitting that they are lost. And we need to pray and love those that aren't ready to admit yet that they are lost. And as Caren pointed out with the last comment of the night, we have to admit that we were lost, and that at times we STILL look to the wrong things for our own acceptance, fulfillment, and answers.


Get Real & Live It!

Changes in Ministry

Whew, the changes just keep coming. This past Sunday, one of my co-workers announced his resignation. He's not leaving to go work at another church, he's decided that he needs to get out of ministry for his own spiritual health and relationship with Christ. In talking with him over the past few weeks as he has dealt with this decision, it has of course, made me start thinking about the same sort of things and how I deal with these feelings when they come up.

I am saddened anytime I hear of someone getting out of ministry, especially for personal spiritual health reasons. I respect my co-worker for his insight and recognition of what was happening in his life and his relationship with Christ, but I'm still saddened to see him step out of ministry. He is just one of several friends of mine that have gotten out of ministry in the past few years because of similar reasons.

What his decision got me thinking about was how I "take care" of my spiritual health to make sure I don't get to a point of "burnout" or something like that. I know that Satan attacks everyone who tries to serve God with their lives, and I know that I am always susceptible to those attacks, and that is the reason I make it a prioirty to have some of these things in place in my life and my ministry.

Shiloh plays a major role in keeping me "spiritually healthy". She is always encouraging me to take days off, to ask for help, to just spend time with God, and most importantly, she is always praying for me and tells me so. That gives me such strength and gives me such confidence that it is truly God working through me, rather than me doing anything on my own.

I also have several people close to me that I can go talk to when I'm having spiritually dry times, or just simple bad days. Volunteer parents in the Youth Ministry at University, friends in Youth Ministry at other churches, and even friends that have no interest in my ministry (sometimes the most important support!) are great friends that check up on me and that I can go to when needed.

The main two things that I try and do on my own are 1) taking "solo" days throughout the year and 2) reading books and listening to things that grow my spiritual life apart from my ministry. What I mean with my "solo" days are not just days off...but sort of like spiritual retreats by myself to refocus and just slow down. And the books that I read are not just books about Youth Ministry (or any other ministry), I also make sure to read things about making myself a better praying husband, or other things that are outside of my paid ministry.

And probably the biggest thing that helps keep my focus where I feel it needs to be in my ministry is that I know that it is God working in this ministry...not anything special that I am doing. I have been even more convinced of this in recent years and months. Watching the Spirit guide our teens, our class discussions, and even our Mission Trip makes it much easier on me to not feel the burden of needing to be THE one leading anything. Most of the time, I'm just convincing myself to get out of the way and let the teens see what God is doing.

So when these changes that do come up (it seems everyday) happen in my life and ministry, I feel comfortable dealing with them because I have made setting these supports and helps up in my life and my ministry a top prioirty.

And speaking of those changes...it seems that the "big one" is going to happen almost any day. This limbo of not knowing when Addison will come, and the fact that she could come at any time, is really going to be stressful!

Get Real & Live It!

Speaking of Changes...my house has a nursery!

So yeah, when talking about changes that are happening in my life right now, obviously the biggest one is that Ms. Addison is about to show up and change my whole world. Numerous things will be changing once she shows up (and have already begun to change before she's even here, of course) and the one that is on my mind tonight is that I will now live in a house that has a nursery.

Back in June, Shiloh and I started putting together the room that would become the nursery. That meant changing our "guest room" into the nursery, which meant turning the basement into our "guest room". The summer is a hard time for a Youth Minister to try and tackle a project like that...but its finally done. We've pretty much got the basement set up in two halves...one half to be our guest room, and the other half to be Shiloh's craft room. But probably more importantly, we have the guest room now officially turned in to the nursery.

The room was blue, and of course, that wouldn't work for our little girl...so we had to decide on a color that would be good for her.

We didn't want an all-pink room, but we needed a "girly" color. So we decided on yellow. I tried to convince Shiloh that we should leave the top third of the room blue, mainly so that I wouldn't have to paint that part. But that didn't work, so the whole room got painted. But first I decided that I needed to prime the walls, to make it easier for the yellow to cover the blue.

Shiloh's dad & step-mom were able to come in to town last weekend, and they were both a great help to us as we tried to get our house decorated (since we still had not done much of that since we moved in back in March) and Van was especially great to help get the nursery fully painted.

And after the room was painted, I added this tree in the corner to make it more than just a yellow room.

And then, once the tree was up, we added these butterflies and flowers to make it even more girly for little Addison.

And so, the last bit of decorations will be going up in the next week or so, but its pretty much done. Now if we can get the baby showers done (this weekend and next), I guess we'll be fairly ready for Addison to show up! (Or at least as ready as we can be!)

So, that's the big change that's on my mind right now...I guess I'll share about more changes later. Have a great weekend!

Get Real & Live It!

Ch-ch-changes...

From "The Best of Bowie (or Hunky Dory) - Changes":

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strain
...
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me,
But I can't trace time

Its been quite a while since I even had the thought of attempting to write a blog. Shiloh has had a blog for a little over a year now (I think) and I've sort of been vicariously blog-living through her. I always seem to have the problem of not really knowing what I would write about everyday to make it worth having a blog. And I didn't really want to be someone who only wrote about having a kid (not that its bad...I enjoy reading about your kid, I just don't want to ONLY write about that part of my life). And I'm not a preacher and don't have a desire to be, so I don't have deep inspirational stuff that pops into my head everyday that I can write devotional thoughts about each morning. But I do have "stuff" that pops into my head everyday...and Shiloh and I are having a baby soon (any week now, really)...and there is a lot of stuff going on that might be entertaining or interesting to other people...so I guess I'll give it a try and see what comes out of it.

As the song says at the beginning of this post, Changes...you're gonna have to turn and face the strain and be a different man. I'm about to be a dad, and I have this funny feeling that my life is going to change forever. I've been around different dads pretty much all my life (imagine that), and I have some excellent examples to follow, so I'm not really nervous about the actual "being a dad" part. I am fully comfortable knowing that I'm going to probably screw this up a time or two. What is starting to make me nervous are the times that I'm going to think I'm not screwing it up...that I'm doing a really good job. So I'm nervous about my confidence level, and how I'm going to handle all these changes. Already last week, I found myself sitting in my living room watching "Mamma Mia!" with Shiloh. Just one of many questionable (see: bad) decisions that will be made by the females in my life, I'm sure. And I'm sure there will be bigger changes than just what is on the TV.

There are lots of other changes going on right now, too, but I should probably save some of them for another day when I can't think of something else to blog about.

I guess that makes the first post completed!

Get Real & Live It!